hyrude:

just drafting my will because i drank 1.5 liters of contaminated water

if i die of dysentery, my blog goes to hanna. please make her miserable and treat her even more poorly than you treat me. if i die of cholera, it goes to peyton, who will not see this post for 3 weeks and will not be willing or capable of carrying on my legacy of watching the worst shows possible and randomly assigning lesbianism to half the characters. if i die from a parasite, my blog goes to kelly. we’ve only been dating for two days, but it still seems fitting that i force you from the afterlife to call evan peters hot through gritted teeth. if i die of any other cause, especially one unrelated to drinking contaminated water at all (murder, foolhardy act of hubris), my blog goes to gwen, who i trust will accidentally immediately delete it