I know a guy who ended up becoming a professional chef because of the tim burton charlie and the chocolate factory movie and i guarantee none of you will be able to guess how
ok so this movie came out like, 2005ish? And this kid was in his early teens, so 12-14 years old i guess. And he’s watching this movie and there’s the scene where the chewing gum kid, Violet something, is chewing the gum that tastes like a three course meal and the first two tastes are tomato soup and roast beef and that’s all well and good but then it gets to blueberry pie and OOP she’s all swollen up like a ten-foot tall human blueberry.
And this kid, being the age he was, had just kinda started puberty and might’ve had a little crush on Violet to start with, so all the feelings and hormones got a lil mixed up while watching that scene and he ended up with a great big inflation kink.
So this is a thing for a few more years, he’s cranking his hog to deviantart pictures of big ol balloon ladies and the kink develops (as they sometimes do) into one where he gets off from watching those videos where people eat a ton of food.
But then from there he starts to become interested, not in the person eating the food, but the food itself. Pretty soon he’s watching cooking video tutorials and attempting to cook for his family and within a couple years he’s got good. Real good. So good, in fact, that he publishes a modest cookbook at age 17 and makes enough money off selling it to buy himself a car. By the time he’s graduated highschool he’s had scholarships and apprenticeship offers from no less that 5 separate cooking schools, three of which were international.
He told me all this inbetween throwing up in a bathtub at a party we were both at. I hadn’t actually met him beforehand but id seen him around school a few times (he was a couple years older than me).
Last I heard of him, he’s working as the head chef in some big boy restaurant back in my city and has at least one award for something.
And that’s how some guy became a professional chef thanks to tim burtons charlie and the chocolate factory movie
Here’s the thing: if the Republicans don’t suffer significant losses in the midterms, then they will interpret this as meaning that the racism and the xenophobia and the scapegoating of Jews and muslims and transgender people are winning propositions, and they will double down on all of these things. Yes the Democrats are frustratingly mediocre, and it sucks. But things still have a LOT of room to get worse.
They will interpret it that way. And they will be right.
Please vote tomorrow and vote for anyone you can who might actually beat a conservative. That’s where we’re at and too much is at stake to be picky.
no offense but i need everyone to stop saying that “we survived” bad presidents before. like, i get it, the country has weathered people like andrew jackson and ronald reagan and will probably weather trump. but when you say “we survived” andrew jackson? tell that to the 4000 (of 16000) cherokee who died on the trail of tears. “we survived” ronald reagan? tell that to the 650,000 americans who have died of aids– a national health crisis which reagan refused to even recognize?
you know who “survived” presidents like trump? people who never had to be afraid of them in the first place.
Sunshine and Shit Jokes 