underrated john mulaney quotes:

“he never forgets a bitch ever”

“…and he was almost impressed!”

“because we’re delta airlines / and life is a fucking nightmare”

“SCATTER!!!!!!!!”

“…which is some racist-ass bullshit, but also incredibly well coordinated for a group of thirteen year olds”

“i’m a little fat girl”

“the best thing about that was that after that, cars were pulling up and looking over to see who just did that piece of shit move, expecting to see like a 100-year-old blind dog who’s texting while driving and drinking a smoothie, instead they see a 28-year-old healthy man trying his best”

“and i was the ONE pre-y2k asshole going ‘and also with you!’”

“Don’t you have to do a shift at school tomorrow?” *drinking like it’s the end of the world* “Ehhhh, I’ll just show a video.” “That’s why teachers show videos?!”

vincent van gogh words for the signs

*check sun and moon
aries: what would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
taurus: and then, I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough?
gemini: that is how I look at it; to continue, to continue, that is what is necessary
cancer: whoever loves much, performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well
leo: a great fire burns within me, but no one stops to warm themselves at it, and passers-by only see a wisp of smoke
virgo: great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together
libra: there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people
scorpio: I take great care of myself by carefully shutting myself away
sagittarius: I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart
capricorn: I put my heart and soul into my work, and I have lost my mind in the process
aquarius: normality is a paved road: it’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it
pisces: be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. then life seems almost enchanted after all

alistairwhy:

robotsandfrippary:

robotlyra:

ihateeverythingcomic:

twofingerswhiskey:

falling-towers:

mindfulwrath:

honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp

And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him

my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that

I once dreamed that a giant meteor was headed for earth, and the government had set up loudspeakers throughout the cities so Obama could give a final address – I’ll never forget how strangely comforting it was when he said “there are places we’ve never been before. Some of us have never been to the Alps, some of us have never been to Marrakesh. The next life is simply another place we’ve never been before, and we’re all going to go explore it together.”

We as a culture are not over the end of his presidency, and I think this post proves we never will be

Obama the Cryptid.

Obama is definitely a guardian spirit who travels around people’s dreams and subconsciouses to deliver comforting and powerful messages.