Author: bisexualpixiebabe

an assortment of lines from the movie “hoodwinked” in no particular order

pansexualkiba:

  • “You AGAIN?! What do I have to do, get a restraining order?!”
  • “You sayin’ this guy’s a cop?!” “Worse. He’s a reporter.”
  • “I’m getting schnitzel’d left and right. I cannot even sell the bunion cream!”
  • “I wanna do an expose. Maybe a coffeebook – I don’t drink coffee, maybe a chai tea latte book.”
  • “The only crime I’ve ever committed is making my goodies unlawfully delicious!”
  • “I noticed you have three G’s tattooed onto the back of your neck. That’s appropriate, since there are three strikes against you.”
  • “THIRTY-SEVEN YEARS AGOOOOOO A WITCH DONE PUT A SPELL ON MEEEEEE”
  • “I just wanna go home and hibernate.”
  • “It’s true. I never did like the quilting bees and the bingo parlors. I’d rather live life to the extreme.”
  • “Grandma, what’s this?” “Oh! I-It says ‘World’s Greatest Grandma’!” “Grandma, I can read. It says, ‘Battle of the Iron Cage Gladiators’.”
  • “Sweet tea and biscuits! We gotta do something!” “I know. The song was catchy, but the choreography was terrible.”
  • “No. Not prison! NOT FOR A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT!“ 

sabotabby:

s4wdust:

plantconstellations:

i imagine getting my own place all the time and going down to the grocery store early in the morning before everyone else and to the coffee shop and having a really small place with wide windows and lots of plants and shelves of books and a tiny kitchen where i can make tea and noodles and a bed with a pile of blankets and just a place i can make uniquely my own or maybe a place i could share with someone but i just think about this place a lot idk

One of my professors is an extremely famous, well-known painter who has been in galleries since he was a young man in the 80s. He once asked me in class, “Alyssa, what are your dreams and aspirations for the future?”

You should have seen the puzzled look on his face when I described something similar to the post above.

“Why so humble?!” He laughed. “You know you’re talented, right? You could aspire to a lot more than that for sure.”

And I had to take that moment to explain to him that this is what my generation is given, this is how low our standards for happiness have to be. A humble existence, a small piece of the world for ourselves, and comfortable stability are just as out of reach for some of us as fame and reknown was for him in the 80’s. His face went somber immediately.

Millennials are killing the dream industry.

61below:

racingbarakarts:

myblogisnotinteresting:

racingbarakarts:

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.

Actual advice! Just yeet a goose

Yeet the geese

cephalotodd:

can u imagine being admitted to the hospital in house cos ur half-dead from the worlds most obscure disease and youre lying in bed dying and you cant even do that in peace cos every five minutes house’s little club comes back in to do another round of random tests while gossiping about their deep psychological issues and if thats not painful enough one of them is australian and you have to listen to that. and just when u think u can finally slip away gracefully some old dude comes in and switches off your life support and yells at you for not telling him you tripped on a loose floorboard and broke a nail when you were seven like just let me go bro. im done

The War on Drugs needs to end.

always-halfstrange:

  • Over the past 40 years, the War on Drugs has cost more than $1 trillion and accounted for more than 45 million arrests.
  • In 2009 nearly 1.7 million people were arrested in the U.S. for nonviolent drug charges – more than half of those arrests were for marijuana possession alone. Less than 20% was for the sale or manufacture of a drug.
  • Even though White and Black people use drugs at approximately equal rates, Black people are 10.1 times more likely to be sent to prison for drug offenses. Today, Black Americans represent 56% of those incarcerated for drug crimes, even though they comprise only 13% of the U.S. population.
  •  Between 1973 and 2009, the nation’s prison population grew by 705 percent, resulting in more than 1 in 100 adults behind bars today. In 1980, the total U.S. prison and jail population was about 500,000 – today, it is more than 2.3 million.
  • The U.S. incarcerates more people than any country in the world – both per capita and in terms of total people behind bars. The U.S. has less than 5 percent of the world’s population, yet it has almost 25 percent of the world’s incarcerated population.
  •  It costs an average of $78.95 per day to keep an inmate locked up, more than 20 times the cost of a day on probation.

I urge everyone to watch the documentary The House I Live In. I had no idea about the class and race war that is happening in our country at this very moment. Something needs to be done, and it begins with education.